Whether you love them or hate them, in this fast-paced, constantly connected environment, teens are changing the game of communication—especially when it comes to the phone call. Most teens have already embraced a purposeful approach to ignoring phone calls, calling this a privilege to protect. Perhaps most importantly, smartphones have become an essential tool of daily life for teens. Therefore, they prefer to communicate in ways that align with their values and fast-paced lifestyle.
This trend of answering unexpected phone calls or phone calls at all is the biggest break from past generations. Instead of thinking of phone calls as necessary modes of communication, teens think of them as unpleasant pressures. This shift has prompted a reevaluation of what it means to communicate, leading many young people to prefer written messages over direct conversations.
Teenage experiences such as those of Elsa, Lucas, Mehdi and Léa characterize this social reality. In doing so, they give a glimpse into how the approach and value of communications is changing with today’s young people.
A Shift in Communication Preferences
Teenagers today have as much changed the world as any generation of young people before them. Seventeen-year-old Elsa wants nothing more than to be left alone. To accommodate these needs, she makes sure to prioritize them by screening phone calls and not answering them immediately. For her, the need to be in control of her personal space and time trumps the obligation to immediately, or ever, answer that call. This sentiment is shared by many of her peers, who believe that phone calls, like Breanna said, are an interruption to their work.
In much the same way, Lucas, 16, says that they get him, because they know how he talks to them. They know he will not answer a phone call right away and often send a Snap—a short video or photo message—first. By taking this approach, he’s able to schedule the friends’ visits on his own time, while protecting his emotional environment. By making these types of communication a priority, teens can participate without the same pressure that comes with an instant phone call.
Within this context, waiting for the right time to call has turned into a form of respect between teens. They appreciate being able to decide when to join a conversation instead of having to reply right away. This new etiquette is an indicator of a deeper cultural shift, one that favors more considerate and intentional engagement.
The Role of Written Communication
Written communication has taken center stage in the lives of teens and tweens, creating an alternate contract with time and feelings. Text exchanges and voice notes afford people an opportunity to respond without the high pressure of a phone call. Mehdi, 16, likes to text you after calling—instead of picking up the phone. He discovers that this approach gives him the space to kind of, you know, use this practice to articulate and really understand his thoughts and feelings.
That same preference for written communication allows adolescents to control their social interactions further. This gives them the option to preview responses before you see them and interact on their terms when they’re ready. In contrast to a spontaneous phone call, which has the potential to be more intrusive or controlling of social engagement, text-based communication allows for mutual flexibility and control of social interaction.
This move towards more text-based forms of communication has further impacted how teens view phone calls. Léa, 15, jokingly defines phone calls as invasive. Now, she is anxious because of the pressure to deliver an answer on short notice. This is in sharp juxtaposition to the much more informal texting and messaging atmosphere.
Reevaluating Social Norms
This change in communication style is emblematic of a much larger shift in social norms and a generational shift. In fact, what used to be a sign of empathy and concern—making a phone call—might not even be a positive experience for this generation. For these teens, incoming phone calls become a source of stress instead of an outlet for connection and joy. This perspective may stem from an inherent understanding of digital communication’s pace and rhythm, where immediate responses have become less necessary.
Teenagers use different strategies to maintain and control their invisible communication. They set the rules for their social interactions by not picking up phone calls right away. This strategy further models consideration for their classmates’ time and space. This intentional practice allows them to be in control of their connections, rather than bogged down by the pressure that comes from always on, instantaneous communication.
Smartphones are the most snazzy and ubiquitous addition to the life of today’s adolescents. Unfortunately, this means their approach to communication has shifted completely. Social media platforms and messaging apps are continuing to push the world in the direction of text-based communication. To that end, Americans are turning away from phone calls.